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More Stories from Auntie Kreamsaugen

Mushrooms
by Auntie Kreamsaugen
published June 2015

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Many years ago, several couples from the Snoose Hollow church decided to get together on a regular basis, have a home cooked meal, socialize and play games. I wanted to outdo all of the other ladies so I planned mushroom smothered steak. When Knute heard that he said, "mushrooms are too expensive Kreamsaugen, we can't afford that!"

I said to him, I'm going down in the pasture to the old creek bed and pick some wild mushrooms, they can't be poison, I see varmints eating them all the time. So, the morning of the party, I picked, washed, sliced and cooked up a large batch of wild mushrooms, giving our dog Ol' Spot a generous helping at about 8 AM.

At noon the dog was just fine so I decided to serve the wild mushrooms to my guests. They must be edible. I even hired Inga the neighbor's hired girl to help me serve that evening so I could enjoy the party.

The meal was a huge success. Afterwards, we relaxed, socialized and played games. After a while Inga came and whispered in my ear "Ol' Spot just died."

I went into hysterics. I called the doctor in town, told him of my mushrooms and that the dog had died. He said he'd be right out ... stay calm ... he would give everyone enemas and pump their stomachs. He even sent an ambulance.

They all arrived with sirens , suitcases, syringes and stomach pump. One by one they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now" and they all left.

All of my guests were looking pretty weak sitting around the living room when Inga came in and said, "You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped."

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