Hot Air From The Gulf
A series of articles by J Micheal LafertyJune 2014 ...
"It's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon ..."
And so begins another story of the
mis-adventures and daily goingson
of Garrison Keillers' mythical
architype of small town America.
Keillors' syndicated NPR radio
program has become a staple of
the American psyche; first aired
on July 6, 1974, A Prairie Home
Companion is heard by 4 million
listeners each week on more than
600 public radio stations, and
abroad on America One and the
Armed Forces Networks in Europe
and the Far East. Listeners
are swept away every week to an
imaginary spot where quiet and
relaxation are the order of the day,
where the days are always sunny,
the locals are friendly with a smile
on their faces, where out-of-towners
are welcomed to sit back, relax
and forget about their cares and
worries . . .
if only for the afternoon.
if only for the afternoon.
Wouldn't it be nice if such a place
really existed? If you could just
cross a bridge spanning beautiful
blue waters and step off onto a
quiet little island with world-class
beaches, boutique shops full of
wonderful and unique curios, great
restaurants in which you could
find just about anything your taste
buds could imagine, a variety of
minstrels and troubadours that
would make any Kings court envious,
more outdoor adventures than
you can possibly do in a weeks'
time, and a nightlife that carries on
as long as you want under a blanket
of stars and warm soft breezes
scented faintly with salt air and
tropical sweetness?
Hold on to your beach blankets!
My name is Micheal and with each issue I hope to introduce you to my little island in the sun. I'll try to give you the "local" knowledge that we all desire when visiting a new place, and for those of you already familiar with my little sand spit of paradise, I hope to help you really discover the inner beauty of a secret destination that you might have overlooked.
So until next time ...
It's been a quiet week on South Padre Island.
J Micheal Laferty ... www.jmlaferty.com
My name is Micheal and with each issue I hope to introduce you to my little island in the sun. I'll try to give you the "local" knowledge that we all desire when visiting a new place, and for those of you already familiar with my little sand spit of paradise, I hope to help you really discover the inner beauty of a secret destination that you might have overlooked.
So until next time ...
It's been a quiet week on South Padre Island.
J Micheal Laferty ... www.jmlaferty.com
July 2014 ...
SPI Driving Tips 101
It seems as if every week I run
across a visitor to the Island that tells
me that they have never been here
before, even though they are native
born Texans. This might seem odd to
you; after all, most of you reading this
are intrepid travelers at heart, and get
itchy just thinking about being in one
place for very long. And I imagine
that you, like me, find it incredulous
that someone would live in a state
their entire lives and not explore every
nook and cranny.
Okay, in their defense ... Texas is a darn big state. My first thought is always: What rock have they been living under? But it's my second thought that always brings a twinge of rejoice and regret: Thrilled that they have finally discovered us, and irritated that they have finally discovered us! Ahh, the yin and yang of living on a tropical island . . . that is too easily accessible! So let's ponder the first step of that discovery phase . . . THEY'RRRRE HEREEEE!
In reality, there are really only a couple of thousand of us that live here on the island, and most of us are employed in the business of making the visitor happy. We rely upon our tourist traffic to pay our rent, put food on our table, pay for our new surfboard, get me another sailboard session, buy me another off-shore fishing trip on my next day off . . . you get the idea.
Okay, in their defense ... Texas is a darn big state. My first thought is always: What rock have they been living under? But it's my second thought that always brings a twinge of rejoice and regret: Thrilled that they have finally discovered us, and irritated that they have finally discovered us! Ahh, the yin and yang of living on a tropical island . . . that is too easily accessible! So let's ponder the first step of that discovery phase . . . THEY'RRRRE HEREEEE!
In reality, there are really only a couple of thousand of us that live here on the island, and most of us are employed in the business of making the visitor happy. We rely upon our tourist traffic to pay our rent, put food on our table, pay for our new surfboard, get me another sailboard session, buy me another off-shore fishing trip on my next day off . . . you get the idea.
We NEED you here, and we need
you to have a great time, and we need
you to come back often . . . with another
batch of money! But the other side
of the coin is . . . well frankly; there
are a whole lot of you! Don't get us
wrong; you're a nice enough bunch,
you smile and laugh a lot, you're
generally friendly, we have a good
time when you're here ... but there's
a whole lot of you!
So, allow me to give you a few pointers about getting the most out of your first visit to our little bit of heaven ... and make it enjoyable for everybody involved. When you hit the island and come off the Queen Isabella Causeway (the bridge) you are going to see the Welcome to South Padre Island sign. A bunch of you, for some reason that we locals can't figure out, want to have your picture taken in front of the sign. Wonderful ... pull ALL the way off the road to the left before you stop; that way you'll avoid the loud long honk of a horn and that famous "you're #1" hand salute! As soon as you get past the sign you are going to hit Padre Blvd; you have three choices go straight across it, turn right or turn left ... the time to make that decision is BEFORE you get to the intersection! And don't forget to choose your turn lane accordingly! Just a side note; please coordinate your turn signals and your intentions ... once again this avoids that loud honk and the hand signal aforementioned.
So, allow me to give you a few pointers about getting the most out of your first visit to our little bit of heaven ... and make it enjoyable for everybody involved. When you hit the island and come off the Queen Isabella Causeway (the bridge) you are going to see the Welcome to South Padre Island sign. A bunch of you, for some reason that we locals can't figure out, want to have your picture taken in front of the sign. Wonderful ... pull ALL the way off the road to the left before you stop; that way you'll avoid the loud long honk of a horn and that famous "you're #1" hand salute! As soon as you get past the sign you are going to hit Padre Blvd; you have three choices go straight across it, turn right or turn left ... the time to make that decision is BEFORE you get to the intersection! And don't forget to choose your turn lane accordingly! Just a side note; please coordinate your turn signals and your intentions ... once again this avoids that loud honk and the hand signal aforementioned.
All righty then ... let's assume that
you've gotten onto the island and you
are either going North ... or South
(your only options); there is a whole
lot of gawking opportunities for first
timers, please remember that there
are a bunch of us who are trying to
get around the island to get to work
before you get there (there's a whole
lot of you). The "gawkin' lane" is the
one on the right! The "move it ... I got
somewhere to be" lane is on the left!
And if you decide that you want to
turn across traffic ... that middle lane
is a turning lane; moving into that
lane will help you avoid that hand signal
again! Also, please note that the
"move it ... I got somewhere to be"
lane normally moves about 10 miles
an hour faster than the posted speed
limit. If you're from off the island, we
recommend that you stay at the speed
limit (because you don't know the
lunch schedules of the police department
and you don't know when you
can speed and when you can't), but if
a local comes up behind you going a
lot faster than you think they ought to
be traveling; playing "keeper of the
speed" is going to get you that honk
and the hand signal ... move over to
the right! Oh, and check your turn
signal!
August 2014 ...
It's Too Darn Hot!
Summer is in full swing in
Deep South Texas. Kids are staying
inside because it's just too
darn hot to play outside. Parents
are counting the days until the
kids go back to school ... because
the kids won't leave the house because
it's too darn hot. Folks who
have to leave for work are fooled
by Mother Nature every morning
as they look outside through the
window at the calmness and quietness
of the morning; the view
tricking our mind into thinking
that the morning will be wonderful ...
right up until that moment
when we open the front door and
are accosted by a blast of hot air
that immediately wilts our spirit.
We gasp to catch our breath
in air so heavy with moisture
that the simple act of breathing
causes us to break into a sweat
and our minds are overwhelmed
with the realization that, well ...
it's too darn hot. Even the jalapeno
peppers in the garden are
starting to wilt from the excessive
heat, and you wonder to
yourself how you can possibly
cope with the all-encompassing
heat; and then the answer comes
to you in a daydream as you drive
down the expressway ... "Grab
your backpack kids. Mom, get
the ice-chest." You're digging out
the EZ-Up awning tent and the
lounge chairs; "Everybody in the
car; we're going to the beach!"
Yep, a simple answer for you Upper Valley folks; out here on the island we are cool, comfortable, loving the warm weather because it is perfect beach weather. When it's sweltering in the Upper Valley we have a constant on-shore breeze blowing off of the Gulf. I'm sure there is a long winded meteorological explanation for it; something about high pressure vs. low pressure and the different weight of the air due to humidity densities and such ... and how a Thermos Bottle knows when to keep things hot and when to keep 'em cold. Here on the beach ... we don't care; we just know that there is always a nice breeze blowing in from the Gulf. And combined with that nice breeze is that ridiculous high humidity that you Upper Valley folks hate when you first get down here; we love it ... it turns us into human beer cans.
Yep, a simple answer for you Upper Valley folks; out here on the island we are cool, comfortable, loving the warm weather because it is perfect beach weather. When it's sweltering in the Upper Valley we have a constant on-shore breeze blowing off of the Gulf. I'm sure there is a long winded meteorological explanation for it; something about high pressure vs. low pressure and the different weight of the air due to humidity densities and such ... and how a Thermos Bottle knows when to keep things hot and when to keep 'em cold. Here on the beach ... we don't care; we just know that there is always a nice breeze blowing in from the Gulf. And combined with that nice breeze is that ridiculous high humidity that you Upper Valley folks hate when you first get down here; we love it ... it turns us into human beer cans.
You all know how you take a cold
one out of the fridge and pop the
top and sit in the lawn chair in the
evening after work to water the
lawn; and in your right hand is the
hose, in the left is the can, and you
never spray your left hand with
water and yet within minutes the
can is drippy wet and you're sure
the water from the hose has never
touched it because your hand is
dry on the outside, but wet on the
inside; that's exactly the same
thing that happens to us down
here on the beach. The humidity
is so high, and it's too darn hot, so
we start to sweat; and then we get
this little damp sheen all over, and
here comes that cool breeze off the
Gulf ... drum roll please; human
beer cans.
That's the simple truth folks; while you are sweltering up in the Upper Valley; down here on the beach we're all walking Swamp Coolers. Now add that to the simple fact that we're on a tropical sand spit surrounded by water and it is therefore perfectly acceptable to wander around in the proper state of near nakedness. Quite simply; you folks wear too many clothes; down here on the beach we don't wear a lot of clothes ... its too darn hot.
We run around on Padre Blvd. in board shorts and bikini tops. No ... the men are wearing the board shorts, the gals are ... never mind; you get the picture. You know that rule you have up there about not going to grocery store without shoes; doesn't apply here on the beach. Down here we consider flip-flops on the same par as dress shoes; and who wears dress shoes to the beach? That's just silly ... it's too darn hot.
You Upper Valley ladies would never consider shopping in a swimsuit cover-up ... but how are you going to tell if that what's-it doo-dad is going to match your bikini if you can't wear your bikini to the store to try them on together? Dress for dinner? Are you serious? It's too darn hot. Gentlemen ... we are the only municipality in the Great State of Texas that has a city ordinance on the books against wearing a tie in public. In addition to that; it's just common knowledge down here
That's the simple truth folks; while you are sweltering up in the Upper Valley; down here on the beach we're all walking Swamp Coolers. Now add that to the simple fact that we're on a tropical sand spit surrounded by water and it is therefore perfectly acceptable to wander around in the proper state of near nakedness. Quite simply; you folks wear too many clothes; down here on the beach we don't wear a lot of clothes ... its too darn hot.
We run around on Padre Blvd. in board shorts and bikini tops. No ... the men are wearing the board shorts, the gals are ... never mind; you get the picture. You know that rule you have up there about not going to grocery store without shoes; doesn't apply here on the beach. Down here we consider flip-flops on the same par as dress shoes; and who wears dress shoes to the beach? That's just silly ... it's too darn hot.
You Upper Valley ladies would never consider shopping in a swimsuit cover-up ... but how are you going to tell if that what's-it doo-dad is going to match your bikini if you can't wear your bikini to the store to try them on together? Dress for dinner? Are you serious? It's too darn hot. Gentlemen ... we are the only municipality in the Great State of Texas that has a city ordinance on the books against wearing a tie in public. In addition to that; it's just common knowledge down here
that deck shoes
and socks simply do not belong
together. Once again, flip flops are
the authorized and legal foot wear
for both sexes, and socks just cause
your feet to get smelly; because
it's too darn hot. Are you starting
to get the picture? Is it starting to
dawn on you that you don't have to
sit up there; 45 minutes from the
beach but only 10 minutes from
Hades, and hide inside your homes
huddled around the A/C unit.
Are you starting to realize that the reason we're all tanned down here and you're all pasty is because we're out in the sun all of the time? Are you starting to figure out that there is a way to escape this miserable oppressive heat? Are you longing to become a walking, talking human swamp cooler? Come on down; the water is cool and refreshing, the breeze is blowing, the sun is shining, the kids are playing on the beach, the gulls and pelicans are floating down the shoreline, the fishing is great, doing absolutely nothing is acceptable behavior, the ice tea is cold, the shrimp are sizzling on the barbeques, and we're all kicked back and enjoying this beautiful Texas summer. We're cool, comfortable and smiling like kids in a toy store doorway. Our restaurants open early and our beer joints close late; we have fireworks, live music, horseback riding, dolphin watching, beach combing, bay fishing, deep sea fishing, bungee jumping, go-cart racing, wind-surfing, kite boarding, para-sailing, girl watching, boy chasing, jet ski riding, boogie boarding, margarita drinking, chip eating, seagull feeding, sand crab chasing, sandcastle building; and that's just in the morning before siesta. And, oh yeah, did I mention that we're nice and cool down here.
Come on down to the island and join us; but send the kid out early to start the car and get the A/C going; you don't want to have to wait around for the car to cool off inside before you start out ...
it's too darn hot.
Are you starting to realize that the reason we're all tanned down here and you're all pasty is because we're out in the sun all of the time? Are you starting to figure out that there is a way to escape this miserable oppressive heat? Are you longing to become a walking, talking human swamp cooler? Come on down; the water is cool and refreshing, the breeze is blowing, the sun is shining, the kids are playing on the beach, the gulls and pelicans are floating down the shoreline, the fishing is great, doing absolutely nothing is acceptable behavior, the ice tea is cold, the shrimp are sizzling on the barbeques, and we're all kicked back and enjoying this beautiful Texas summer. We're cool, comfortable and smiling like kids in a toy store doorway. Our restaurants open early and our beer joints close late; we have fireworks, live music, horseback riding, dolphin watching, beach combing, bay fishing, deep sea fishing, bungee jumping, go-cart racing, wind-surfing, kite boarding, para-sailing, girl watching, boy chasing, jet ski riding, boogie boarding, margarita drinking, chip eating, seagull feeding, sand crab chasing, sandcastle building; and that's just in the morning before siesta. And, oh yeah, did I mention that we're nice and cool down here.
Come on down to the island and join us; but send the kid out early to start the car and get the A/C going; you don't want to have to wait around for the car to cool off inside before you start out ...
it's too darn hot.
September 2014 ...
Healthy Island Lifestyle
Okay kids ... this month we are
going to tackle a serious health
question: Is there a single answer
to optimal health for a people our
age? Let me suggest a simple answer
based upon the latest scientific
research. For this discussion,
we are going to need a chair ... so
let's build one!
The first leg of our chair comes
from sciencelearn.org, a research
group out of New Zealand which
has been battling with the increasing
rates of skin cancer occurring
within the Southern Latitudes
around Australia and New Zealand.
Within its findings they have
solidified two positive effects of
sunlight; UV from the Sun is needed
by our bodies to produce vitamin
D. Vitamin D helps strengthen
bones, muscles and the body's
immune system. It may also lower
the risk of getting some kinds
of cancers such as colon cancer.
Additionally, research suggests
that sunlight stimulates the pineal
gland in the brain to produce
certain chemicals called 'tryptamines'.
These chemicals improve
our mood. sciencelearn.org
Let's add a second leg; a swim
in the sea may improve your mood
and health. Hippocrates first used
the word "thalassotherapy" to describe
the healing effects of seawater,
according to Pacific Naturopathic.
Seawater contains vital
elements, vitamins, mineral salts,
trace elements, amino acids and
living microorganisms that can
produce antibiotic and antibacterial
effects to help promote a healthy
immune system.
Reportedly, the components of seawater, similar to human blood plasma, are easily absorbed and utilized by your body while swimming. Inhaling a sea mist filled with negatively charged ions, or molecules that attach to your lungs also boosts your immune system, according to naturopathic doctor Connie Hernandez. In addition, proponents claim that swimming in seawater opens pores in the skin to allow the absorption of sea minerals and the expulsion of disease causing toxins from the body.
Reportedly, the components of seawater, similar to human blood plasma, are easily absorbed and utilized by your body while swimming. Inhaling a sea mist filled with negatively charged ions, or molecules that attach to your lungs also boosts your immune system, according to naturopathic doctor Connie Hernandez. In addition, proponents claim that swimming in seawater opens pores in the skin to allow the absorption of sea minerals and the expulsion of disease causing toxins from the body.
So,to recap: swimming in seawater
can help increase your immune
system function, improve circulation,
promote overall well-being
and hydrate your skin. Pacific Naturopathic
The third leg of our chair is the health benefits of coconut water. Coconut water is packed with simple sugars, electrolytes, and minerals to replenish dehydration within the human body. Coconut water contains a chemical compound called cytokinins that have been found to have significant anti-ageing, anti-carcinogenic, and antithrombotic (anti-clot formation) effects. Coconut water proved to be life saver during WWII in the Pacific front; for years it has been generally offered to patients with diarrhea in many tropic regions to replace the fluid loss from the gastrointestinal tract and to reduce the need for intravenous therapy.
The osmolarity of tender coconut water is slightly greater than that of WHO recommended ORS (Oral Rehydration Therapy) solution. Presence of other biological constituents like amino acids, enzymes, minerals, and fatty acids may account for this higher osmolarity. Nonetheless, unlike WHO-ORS, its water is very low in sodium and chlorides, but rich in sugars and amino acids. This well balanced fluid composition, along with much-needed calories, would be an ideal drink instead of any other kind of soft drink beverages to rectify dehydration conditions. And if that isn't enough, Coconut water is composed of many naturally occurring bioactive enzymes such as acid phosphatase, catalase, dehydrogenase, diastase, peroxidase, RNA-polymerases etc.; these enzymes help in the digestion and metabolism. Coconut water has proportionately better composition of minerals like calcium, iron, manganese, magnesium, and zinc than some of the fruit juices like oranges, and it is also a very good source of B
The third leg of our chair is the health benefits of coconut water. Coconut water is packed with simple sugars, electrolytes, and minerals to replenish dehydration within the human body. Coconut water contains a chemical compound called cytokinins that have been found to have significant anti-ageing, anti-carcinogenic, and antithrombotic (anti-clot formation) effects. Coconut water proved to be life saver during WWII in the Pacific front; for years it has been generally offered to patients with diarrhea in many tropic regions to replace the fluid loss from the gastrointestinal tract and to reduce the need for intravenous therapy.
The osmolarity of tender coconut water is slightly greater than that of WHO recommended ORS (Oral Rehydration Therapy) solution. Presence of other biological constituents like amino acids, enzymes, minerals, and fatty acids may account for this higher osmolarity. Nonetheless, unlike WHO-ORS, its water is very low in sodium and chlorides, but rich in sugars and amino acids. This well balanced fluid composition, along with much-needed calories, would be an ideal drink instead of any other kind of soft drink beverages to rectify dehydration conditions. And if that isn't enough, Coconut water is composed of many naturally occurring bioactive enzymes such as acid phosphatase, catalase, dehydrogenase, diastase, peroxidase, RNA-polymerases etc.; these enzymes help in the digestion and metabolism. Coconut water has proportionately better composition of minerals like calcium, iron, manganese, magnesium, and zinc than some of the fruit juices like oranges, and it is also a very good source of B
complex
vitamins such as riboflavin,
niacin, thiamin, pyridoxine,
and folates. These vitamins are essential
in the sense that the human
body requires them from external
sources to replenish. And finally,
fresh coconut water has a small
amount of vitamin-C (Ascorbic
acid); It provides about 2.4 mg or
4% of RDA. Vitamin C is a water soluble
antioxidant.
And the fourth leg of our chair of good health is the lowly pineapple, and its chief chemical component, Bromelin. Bromelin, a natural antioxidant present in pineapple juice is a natural anti-inflammatory, as well as a digestive aid. Additionally pineapple juice contains Vitamin C (a natural antioxidant which helps boost your body's immune system), Vitamin B6, which stabilizes your body's blood sugar; and thiamine, which helps to convert carbohydrates into energy; and Potassium, which helps to promote your body's kidney function. And as a side benefit, the synthesis of collagen, which is helpful in providing the necessary elasticity of the skin, is helped from drinking pineapple juice. Skin wrinkling is caused by the lack of collagen, as well as rapid aging. So, drink pineapple juice to stay looking young and beautiful. newhealthguide.org
So now we have a chair from which to consider optimal health. I suggest you take that chair to the Beach, sit in the Sun, swim in the Gulf of Mexico, and mix up a pitcher of shaved ice, pineapple juice and coconut water ... Rum is totally optional.
See you on the Beach!
And the fourth leg of our chair of good health is the lowly pineapple, and its chief chemical component, Bromelin. Bromelin, a natural antioxidant present in pineapple juice is a natural anti-inflammatory, as well as a digestive aid. Additionally pineapple juice contains Vitamin C (a natural antioxidant which helps boost your body's immune system), Vitamin B6, which stabilizes your body's blood sugar; and thiamine, which helps to convert carbohydrates into energy; and Potassium, which helps to promote your body's kidney function. And as a side benefit, the synthesis of collagen, which is helpful in providing the necessary elasticity of the skin, is helped from drinking pineapple juice. Skin wrinkling is caused by the lack of collagen, as well as rapid aging. So, drink pineapple juice to stay looking young and beautiful. newhealthguide.org
So now we have a chair from which to consider optimal health. I suggest you take that chair to the Beach, sit in the Sun, swim in the Gulf of Mexico, and mix up a pitcher of shaved ice, pineapple juice and coconut water ... Rum is totally optional.
See you on the Beach!